My Uncertainties!

It feels just right, it feels perfect
But that was what I thought
That was my belief until yesterday turned blue
The memories linger clear and true.
Today the hurt seems vague but tomorrow my mind renews
The past is gone yet it haunts me
The present is here, yet it taunts me.
Could this be real because now I’m uncertain?
I need help, I need to know
My eyes are wide open but my vision seems unclear
My ears are close to the ground yet I’m unsure of the things I hear
I want enough to be enough; I must put an end to this puzzle
Where do I go, what do I do? How will I cross this hurdle?

The former is very willing and from what I see I can’t help believing
The present proclaims undying love yet he falls short just when It matters most
The latter, oh how I love the latter. He’s a friend in need and also indeed
Yet his purity is frightening as I fear his days of insanity if and when they come
I have made my choice but the options keep flashing before my very eyes
A constant reminder that they are still open
If only I could see the future, if I only I could tell the right path
I’m sure I’m on track, it’s impossible that I’m not
It has to work out this time because it can’t go otherwise
It has to be perfect because that is just how it feels
It has to be real, this pending ordeal
It has to be real………it just ought to be.

My new little room!

It was such a tough decision but i made it. I finally decided to move out of the zones as I call it. I have moved out of that neighbourhood that I have always loved. I feel quite empty inside but I could do with some peace and quiet. I don’t even know how the cab got here so I have to start looking out for the closest bust stops cab offices and most importantly, the closest African stores. Well, thankfully my flatmate and landlady happens to be a good friend of mine so that is a bit of consolation if you ask me. I also have a second friend who happens to be again my flatmate and she is very pregnant. In fact she actually told me that she’s due in a few days and trust me, I find that rather alarming. Anyway moved into my little room really late last night and it was so cold and empty. I gazed around for a few minutes and eventually I lay down in my cold bed. A lot went through my head as I hoped that I’d get used to my little space soon enough. My night was sleepless and I have spent the better part of day setting up my cute little space. I think everything is almost in place now and my bed is beginning to feel warm. My little room is certainly beginning to feel like home and not before long too.

Back to the task!

Hey people, it sure feels great to be back. Well, the trip to Nigeria turned out to be longer that planned. I loved every bit of it though even though the light situation was a bit worrisome. Well, I have finally come back to this country with the so called change in immigration status I have been fighting for. I guess that explains the reason for the emergency trip back home. I should be happy about this achievement but it comes with so much to do that I feel so confused. This marks a turning point in my life as I have to fit into a routine that is a far cry from my regular way of life. I have to the give up the life a young lady just chilling with only little to do for the life a working class post graduate chick. Now that is quite complicated if you ask me but I will give it my best shot. My first hurdle is to get a new place cos i gave up my crib when leaving for Africa. And now I have to searching for houses and hope that I find one that I’d like soon enough. the next step is to get a job and seriously I’m not sure if I’m looking forward to that part but this new chick has to be responsible so its part of getting into the routine. My CV is ready so at least I know that I am getting somewhere. Well, I really do hope that everything goes as planned cos right now my head is so full and i am seriously praying for the strength to pull this through. All the same I’d keep you lot posted and please wish me luck.

Home Bound!

Hi people, how I miss blog land. Its been so long without you guys and I cant believe how addicted how I am.Well,yours faithfully is back home in Nigeria for about ten days and my trip even though it wasn’t planned it has been so much fun. I’d be back next week and I can’t wait till I have like proper access to the internet if you know what I mean. Will definitely keep in touch with everyone. Just thought to drop a line………cheers!

Snow and Me!

Yesterday was a beautiful day for me. I actually woke up to the incessant beeping of my ever faithful mobile phone. loads of text messages, endless phone calls and……….well one gift sha.So what was the occasion o? Hurray! Miss amateur blogger became a year older and my gift to me was………THE DAIRY OF A NAIJA GIRL!
Well, as part of my routine before going bed, I checked the weather forecasts and as usual they had prophesied. They prophesied cold weather like never before. The worst in a decade and in fact the snow would be at least 10cm high. Not again I thought….then I want to bed matchmaking my warmest clothes for the next day in my head.
I could say it everyday and a thousand times at that. The one thing that I’d never get used to in this country is this cold assault in the name of winter. There are times when, I’m so cold that I cry and ask myself how I came up with this insane decision to be here…..
I reached for the window as soon as I got up and ….Wow!
The prophesy had come to pass. I gazed at the scenery before me. It was white, it was freezing but it was beautiful. For seconds, I stood in amazement and then I wondered, I wondered when I’d stop being dazzled by this awesome act of nature. Surprisingly I have seen it snow a number of times and every single time, it feels like magic. Why does this happen to me? could it be its heavenly colour that portrays such sanity amidst the chill, or maybe it is the fact that despite that freezing which I detest, there is this inner peace I feel and believe me, deep down in my heart it brings about internal warmth…….but truthfully, not for too long.